Who is Interrupting Who?

I am so thankful for all the Bible study ladies last week. We dove right into the study, which involved huge vulnerability in sharing stories of how God interrupted their lives. It is so good to hear about God's faithfulness, and to see the strength and hope He gave to each one of them. I was humbled and amazed.

I have been having more thoughts on God's interruptions on my life. I'm coming to realize that every interruption is a chance to really listen to what God is saying to me in my life. Webster defines interruption as:

To stop or hinder by breaking in; to break the uniformity or continuity of; to break in upon an action; to break in with questions or remarks while another is speaking.

(This last is a problem I have anyway - I am sometimes like that student in class who is going "me, me, I know the answer, me, me and find it really difficult to not just blurt out the exciting thought that's in my brain). It came to me that when I choose to ignore, or not listen to, or just not follow God's plan wholeheartedly, that's what I'm doing--breaking in with questions or remarks. How rude, how daring of me, to interrupt the Sovereign God. How presumptuous to think that I know what He is about.

As I was reviewing last week's lessons, and beginning week two, I saw that God has a lot of work to do with me yet. For the last few years I have been unhappy in my job. There are various reasons, sometimes to do with the people I work with, sometimes to do with the work itself, always it seems, to do with not feeling like it's my vocation. I spent the greater part of the last three years begging God for an out, saying to Him, "I don't understand, I'm not happy here, don't You want me to find joy in my work? If what I'm doing is for You, wouldn't I be content?"

Sometimes God has to hit you over the head with a hammer doesn't He? It struck me as I was reviewing that "heeelllooo!" God calling Barb, "Don't you think you'd have moved on if I had a different plan for you". Ouch! Then Priscilla says, on page 35,

"Choosing to "do nothing" is really a decision to delay obedience--and the word for delayed obedience? DISobedience".

Well. I guess it is time to engage my whole heart in this job God gave me. It is hard though. I have yet to master that "be joyful in all things" thing that God asks of us. That tells me that my allegiance is still quite weighted towards Barb, and not 100% towards God.

I want to be in God's presence. I do! I want to hear His voice, and I want the words I say to be His words, and I want the way I act to Honor Him. I want to lay down the "I wants" and do what God wants. I want to run to God, and not away, don't you?