I sometimes feel as though God is having His own private joke as far as I am concerned. Last week He shone His light on an area in my life that needs to be corrected. He brought me to an understanding of what has to be done to bring closure to that particular area. Then, the whole first 3 days of this final week are like His own private conversation with me to encourage me to just get on with it. Which, with His grace, I hope to do.

One thing from last week that has stuck with me, and that has given me great comfort, is the idea that God is preparing the way for my (and yours) obedience to make a difference. This helps to give me a little courage as I move forward in obedience to Him. I had paraphrased the 3 principles on page 117 as:

1. I can't do it
2. God can do it (when I surrender)
3. God prepared (or is preparing) the way

I am definitely counting on that.

Priscilla describes Jonah in day 1 as a "man who loved God but still seemed to love his own way a bit more". Seriously. This could be a description of me. My emotions are always lagging behind my obedience. At least I have grown a bit in doing the actual obedience part, even though my emotions are often not there.

In day 2 she talks about the questions God asked the participants (page 134). Again, I am so arrogant when it comes to obedience to God. My heart and soul is so transparent to Him - He understands me so much better than I understand myself - I have to still myself so that I can hear the questions He has for me, listen, and grow into the woman He created me to be. I must translate the head knowledge into heart knowledge. So often I know the right thing to do, and, I may even do the right thing, but oh my heart, it just really wants to do the wrong things. I am a Romans 8:19 - 21 woman:

"For I fail to practice the good deeds I desire to do, but the evil deeds that I do not desire to do are what I am [ever] doing. Now if I do what I do not desire to do, it is no longer I doing it [it is not myself that acts] but the sin [principle] which dwells within me [fixed and operating in my soul]. So I find it to be a law (rule of action of my being) that when I want to do what is right and good, evil is ever present with me and I am subject to it's insistent demands". (AMP)

That's exactly what evil feels like in me - insistent demands. The right vs. the wrong waging a little war within me. I liked how Priscilla reminded us

"The fruit of God's Spirit can only be realized in the life of someone who is consistently (read constantly!) yielding to the Spirit's work in his or her life. . . We must totally rely on the Holy Spirit to see the effects of His works in our lives."

God has been shining a light on how totally self-absorbed I have been, without consideration of the other players in my interruption. In fact, I am kind of blown away by a comment a friend made about a person I'm not crazy about. I was so focused on me, that I didn't see that some compassion was in order for another. I'm just like Jonah--not swallowed by a whale, but swallowed by my misery. Self-absorbed with my own journey.

So, today, I hope to start anew. I'll probably have to start anew every day of my life, but that's okay.

Dictionary.com describes lavish in this way: sumptuously rich and elaborate. We have a God who lavishes His grace on us, and with His help, we can learn to lavish that grace on those around us.

The Meat of the Gospel

I had to laugh at myself after our Bible Study session last week. We went around the table sharing what meant the most to us after last week's study. Several women shared that just the fact that God never gives up on us, and is always searching for us as evidenced in the 3 parables was so meaningful. These are the same stories I was struggling to find what Priscilla wanted to share with us in my previous blog. How silly! Of course it is as simple and as profound as our God never letting us go.

I have been loving this week's lessons which delve into the meat of the Jonah story. God tells us,

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit" (Matt 28:19)

Priscilla reminds us on page 107 that sharing Jesus is supposed to be a way we live, not just something we do. This is something we know in our heads, but is such a challenge to live with our hearts. It's probably a challenge just because of the fact that God is always "putting regular people in circumstances that are beyond their own capabilities". Of course He is. How else would we grow. But growing is such hard work, and we tend to think that we know when we've grown enough. Thankfully, again, our God doesn't let us become apathetic - He shakes us up and puts us in a circumstance that challenges us and compels us to lean into Him.

I particularly love Day 3. Here we learn that God has truly prepared the way for us. He's preparing the hearts of people that we come in contact with. We may just be a drop of water in their journey, but who knows, perhaps we are softening hearts so that one day their love for God will just burst forth. This is so encouraging to me. This is a vocation.

Webster's defines vocation in this way:

a : a summons or strong inclination to a particular state or course of action; especially : a divine call to the religious life b : an entry into the priesthood or a religious order.

I think this is so cool. This is what God has done for us - He's entered us into His priesthood. He equipped us with His Holy Spirit. No matter what our age (young, old), enemy (few or many), He has set us up to win!

Second Chances

This week's lessons are focusing on how God never gives up on us.

God never gives up on us.

Just think of that. In the amplified version of the Bible, it defines "Selah" as "Pause, and calmly think of that". Isn't that beautiful? I need more "Selah" in my life. The fact that God never gives up on us is something to tuck into our hearts, so we can take it out and calmly think of it when we are in crisis. It's not an excuse to follow our own heart, but something to take courage from as we move forward into God's plan for our life.

I was struggling a bit with the parables in Day 2. I was reading the text, and the scripture, and feeling like I was just not getting what Priscilla wanted us to see in the passages. I turned to my favorite commentator, David Gudzik for some insight.

In the parable of the lost sheep, Gudzik shares that in Jesus day, the Rabbi's believed that God would receive a sinner who came to Him. In this parable Jesus teaches that God actively seeks out the lost. This thought was alien to Jesus listeners. Religious leaders thought that they themselves were more righteous because they diligently sought God, and others had not.

In the parable of the lost coin, Jesus taught that there is joy in the presence of angels over one sinner who repents. In Jesus day people believed that there would be joy in heaven over one sinner who is obliterated before God.

Jesus sure loved to turn people's beliefs on their ear didn't He? We are quick to take Jesus promises for ourselves, but I wonder if I show the same grace to other people who may have acted wrongly when God interrupted their lives.

In fact, when we move on to day 3, and study the story of Naaman I see that he had an arrogance that can parallel my own when it comes to obeying God and what He asks me to do. This includes obeying, forgiving, showing compassion and love, everything!

This so shames me. I don't want to be a woman who disobeys God. I desire to be a woman who hears God, obeys God, and honors Him with my actions, with my words, and even deeper, with my heart!

As I write and talk, that "I" word keeps creeping up. I want, I want, I want. Those are not bad things that I am wanting, but "I" have no possible chance of achieving anything without "God in Me". A stronger measure of the Holy Spirit, a fuller yielding of myself, a humbler follower of Jesus. A John 4:34 type of woman for Jesus.

John 4:34 (Amp.)
Jesus said to them, My food (nourishment) is to do the will (pleasure) of Him Who sent Me and to accomplish and completely finish His work.